Baby Life

Good Night, Sleep Tight

2008-03-11 06:28:00

You've heard other parents complain about those first few sleep-deprived months after bringing home a baby, but nothing can really prepare you for the emotional and physical toll wrought by a baby that can't seem to get the hang of falling asleep and staying that way. Or you may have friends and family members who can't seem to stop talking about how their babies slept through the night as soon as they were home from the hospital. They never missed a wink of sleep, they'll tell you as you try to refrain from bonking them on the head with the nearest blunt object.

The truth is that a baby's sleep personality-that is, how easy or difficult it is for them to fall asleep and stay asleep-is as individual as every other aspect of her personality. A baby who has difficulty falling asleep is no reflection on her parents or their abilities.

Waking Up

If you think about the time you spent in your own bed last night, chances are that you can remember waking up at least once. Your baby has the same experience. She may wake up because of noise, gas pains, or because she rolled over and can't figure out how to right herself. The difference between your baby and you, however, is that while you were able to roll over and go right back to sleep, your baby hasn't learned how to do that yet. When she woke up she noticed that it was dark, and that she was alone, and that it sure would be nice to have a visit from you on this dark lonely night. And then she gave you a call.

The Best Offense is a Good Defense

One of the best ways to make sure that you don't have to visit your baby in the night to help her back to sleep is to minimize the chance that she will wake up in the first place. Here are some ideas:

• Use a fan or a white noise machine to block extraneous sounds. Many companies also make machines that mimic noises from the womb, and some babies also enjoy hearing soft lullabies.
• Swaddle your baby. Babies are born with a well-developed startle reflex that causes them to jump for no apparent reason. Swaddling keeps their arms and legs confined, making it less likely that they will flail about and wake themselves up. If you're not a master swaddler, there are plenty of blankets on the market with Velcro fasteners that make swaddling a breeze.
• Give your baby a pacifier. Not only has a pacifier been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), but it satisfies a baby's need to suck. Even if she does wake up she will be more able to soothe herself back to sleep.
• Make sure your baby is physically comfortable. If she seems gassy, try giving her some simethicone drops to dissolve the bubbles in her tummy. Or try pulling her knees up to her chest to help her pass her gas. If she seems bothered by teething pain, give her some homeopathic teething tablets. Make sure you've burped her and that she's warm and dry. The best way to tell if your baby is a comfortable temperature is to feel the back of her neck. Add layers if the skin there is cool. Take away layers if she feels too hot.

Going Back to Sleep

Sleep experts often suggest that you put your baby to bed while she's drowsy but still awake. The idea behind this advice is that if she can learn to go to sleep on her own when you put her to bed, she'll be able to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up in the night. What the sleep experts don't tell you is that not all babies are able to go to sleep on their own. So if your baby can fall asleep by herself, go ahead and let her do it. If not, don't feel guilty about doing whatever it takes to help her go to sleep.

When it's time to put baby back to sleep, start with minimal intervention. If you can put her back to sleep by rubbing her tummy or singing her a song, there's no need to pick her up and rock her. The more work she does on her own to go back to sleep, the less work you have to do and the faster she'll learn how to soothe herself. You can also follow some of these pointers for putting baby back to sleep at night.

• Wait to see if she really needs you. Many babies cry out during the night or grunt a bit as they try to get comfortable. Just because she's noisy doesn't mean she needs you. She'll let you know if she does.
• Turn on the crib mobile. Janine, mother of two, swears by her mobile. "I guess it just mesmerizes them until they can't keep their eyes open anymore," she says.
• Rub her back or her belly and make gentle shushing sounds. The rubbing is soothing and the shushing sounds are reminiscent of womb sounds.
• Pick her up. No matter what your mother or grandmother tells you, picking up your baby will not spoil her. In fact, picking up your baby when she needs to be comforted teaches her that she is safe and that the world is a trustworthy place.

I Picked Her Up-Now What?

Once you've picked your baby up, the methods for soothing her back to sleep are endless. Here are a few to try:
• Nurse her. Even if she's not necessarily hungry, the warmth and coziness will help her relax.
• Move around. Babies love motion. Try rocking her or walking her around the room with a little bounce in your step. If she doesn't respond, try some lateral lunges by bending your knees and swaying from one side or the other. Not only will your baby go back to sleep, but your bottom and thighs will get a good workout.
• Let her face outward on her side. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow with your arm supporting the rest of her body while she faces away from your body.
• Make a little noise. Sing her a song or shush her to mimic sounds in the womb. The sound of your voice lets her know that she's safe.
• Take her back to your bed. If you're not interested in co-sleeping, bringing her back to your bed may be a habit you'd like to avoid. But if you're exhausted and the baby's exhausted it may be the best option to ensure that everyone in the family gets the rest that they need.

Infant sleep can be one of the most exhausting parts of new parenthood. But like most baby-related stressors, this too shall pass. Pretty soon your baby will be sleeping on her own and you can finally get that good night's sleep that, right now, you can only dream of.

Good Night, Sleep Tight